LAURA'S PECULIAR ENGLISH DICTIONARY.

PREFACE:

It is utterly forbidden to allow pupils or any other English learner to read this dictionary, for obvious reasons.

(Queda totalmente prohibido permitir a estudiantes de Inglés que lean este diccionario, por razones obvias.)

A

ABBREVIATE.-past participle of ABBREVIEAT, to eat briefly.

ABDOMEN.-Men with a big belly.

ABSTAIN.-To refrain from staining oneself or dirtying the room one is in.

ACCUMULATE.-To pile things very late.

ADOLESCENT.-A teenager who only spends cents. A cheap teenager. 

ADULTERY.-Dirty things made by adults.

ADVERSE.-1) Poetry written against someone. 2) An advert written in

verse.

ADVICE.-To suggest or persuade into vice.

ADVISOR.-(also “addvisor”) An advert written on a visor or cap.

AFFAIR.-A love adventure usually held in a fair.

AFRICAN.-(from Latin “CAN”, dog). A dog from Africa.

ALE.-Bad beer, especially that which is the cause of pain or distress.

ALIENATION.-A country of aliens.

ALIGHT.-To get down into the light; to perch on a beam of light.

ALONE.-A loan offered individually.

ALTERNATIVE.-(from alter-native) Some aborigine else.

AMPHITHEATRE.-A theatrical company which begins performing under

water and later ends up acting anywhere on earth. (Also called

“amphibian theatre”)

ANTELOPE.-A deer-like animal said to have the tendency to lope before other animals.

ARDENT.-A dent or hollow produced by fire.

ARMSTRONG (LOUIS).- A trumpeter who had a strong arm.

AROSE.-A rose. One rose.

ARSON.-A son who sets fire to buildings.

ARTICHOKE.-The art of choking on a vegetable, especially on an artichoke.

ASSISTANT.-A helping insect, especially an ant.

ATMOSPHERE.-(Ant. “atmosfear”).-Frightful environment.

AUDIENCE.-The public gathering at a summer cinema where the public

is seated in their cars, usually, of the brand Audi.

AUGUST.-Magnificent and venerable month of the year.

AVENUE.-A new promenade. (ave-new)

AVARICE.-(Comes from AVA + RICE) Ambition for eating rice.

AWAY.-One way.

B

BANK.-Rising land along the edge of a river where people usually keep

money.

BACKING.-A king supporting an artistic cause.

BACKWATER.-Diarrhoea.

BASIC.-Having nausea by reason of sailing round a bay. (Formerly spelled

“baysick”)

BASIN.-A sin committed in a bay.

BEAR.-Large, heavy animal that can “bear” its weight, by walking flat on

the soles of its feet; and “bear” arctic temperatures.

BEAST.-A large four-footed animal from the East.

BEGUN.- A gun with which a war used to start. (from BE + GUN)

BELONG.-Be long, don't come back soon.

BELONG TO.-Be long in leaving a place so as to make pertaining or

property prescribe.

BENEVOLENT.-Smelling good.

BESTOW.-The best way of giving something by the best means.

BETTER.-A person who bets for the superior thing.

BEVERAGE.-The age at which a boy or girl is allowed to drink alcohol.

BORSTAL.-A “recerstacle” especially for “lirsquids”.

BULLET.-A bull available to let.

BOOKCASE.-A lawsuit, a legal dispute about a book.

C

CANDIDATE.-A date of two candid people.

CANTEEN.-A restaurant for teenagers.

CAPER.-(Bot.) A joyful pickled bud from a juniper bush.

CASTAWAY.-A caste or social class which has been thrown away from

the city.

CATHOLIC.-(pronounced CAT-HOLIC) Addicted to cats. (Especially

those from the Vatican)

CENTRIFUGAL.-A prisoner just about escaping from the prison center.

CEREBELLUM.-A part of the brain concerned with the war. (from

CERE=BRAIN and Latin BELLUM,BELLI=WAR)

CHARITY.-A voluntary gift of time cleaning the houses of those in need.

(from “char”= charwoman, a maid)

CHASTISE.-To make chaste by scolding or beating.

CHILDHOOD.-A hood for children.

CHLOROFORM.-The shape of chloro.

CHURCHILL.-Influenza caught in very cold churches.

CHUTE.-A gun used to shoot people on to the ground when in a

playground; and into the water when at a swimming pool.

CIRCUMSTANCES.-(from circum, around; and stare, stand) Things

which are standing around someone.

CITIZEN.-A person who practices Zen -a variety of budhism- especially in

the city.

COLLEAGUE.-A colloquial league.

COMPACT.-A solid agreement, a solid pact.

CONGREGATE.-To meet at a gate or entrance.

CONSUMMATE.-A fellow consumer.

CONTACT.-Get in touch with delicacy.

COSMIC.-Relating to cosmedy. Lausghable.

COUCH.-A bed that causes sudden pain or displeasure and usually making

one exclaim “ouch!”.

CRUCIFIX.-To fix on a wall a representation of Christ on the cross.

CURSORY.-(from “cursor”) superficial and quick, like the twinkling of

the cursor. At a cursory glance.- At a first and quick look at the

screen of the computer.

CONFUSION.-A fusion or mingling with someone, especially with Satan.

(CON from Lat. CUM, “with” and “fusion”, mingling).

Originated in the Book of the Apocalipse “Satan is

Confusion”.

COUNSELLOR.-In former times someone who had to sell advice to

make a living.

COPULATE.- delay in having sexual intercourse.

CROSS.-go over a street against someone in an irritable way.

D

DECORATE.-To furnish and adorn a military or war soldier by means of

medals.

DECEASE.-To cease to live.

DEMONSTRATE.-To show one's evil qualities.

DEMONSTRATION.-A parade of demons claiming for their rights.

DETRIMENTAL.-Causing detriment to the mind.

DIAGNOSE.-To recognize a disease using one’s nose, i.e. by

smelling. That’s where this word comes from. In former

times doctors used to say, “I can smell of measles, flu,” etc.

DIAGRAM.-A gram of paper containing drawings or

sketches.

DICTIONARY.-(adj) Which has nary a diction; having no diction, mute.

DIFFICULT.-A religious group who is hard to deal with. // A religious cult

in an image tending to be hard to handle.

DISCORD.-To provoke a conflict by untying a cord.

DISO-BAY.- (PRONOUNCED LIKE “DISOBEY”) The noise a wild

horse makes, when it doesn’t attend to orders.

DOCENT.-A teacher who only spends cents on teaching materials.

DOGMA.-A dog mum.

DONATION.-The habitat of the female of a deer (doe).

DORMANT.-A sleepy insect, especially an ant.

DOWN-TO-EARTH.-The opposite direction of “up-to-moon”

DRAFTEE.-A roughly made cup of “tee”.

DRAGON.-An animal that does not stop dragging things.

DYNASTY.-1) A lineage of bastards.2) A family who do not wash

themselves.

E

EDWARD.-Towards “ed”.

EMIGRANT.- (pronounced /emi gra:nt/) A sum of money given by the

government to citizens when they go abroad looking for work.

ENDORSE.-To sign a document indoors.

ENFURIATE.-p.p. of ENFURIEAT, to eat furiously.

ENTERPRISE.-(also spelt ENTERPRIZE) A company which

manufactures Oscars, Gold Medals and such prizes.

ENTIRE.-A wheel of a car just before a puncture. (logically, before a

puncture, the wheel is entire and unbroken)

ESTIMATE.-To form an opinion or judgement about one's companion.

EVIDENCE.-Obvious density (evi-dense).

EVIDENT.-A very visible dent (dent=latin “tooth”)

EXAMPLE.-No longer ample.

EXECUTE.-To legally kill a cute person.

EXHAUST.-A tube in a motor vehicle which gives off a gas producing

exhaustion.

EXPENSIVE.-No longer pensive.

F

FA.-A musical note which is heard at a long distance.

FAIR.-Justly blond!

FAIRGROUND.-A joyful site where justice is joyfully administered.

FARRIER.-The farthest blacksmith from one’s home.

FAST.-The fastest way to become hungry again.

FULFILL.-To fill full.

FUNDAMENTAL.-Basic, essential for the brain.

G

GARAGE.-The age at which one is old enough to own a garage

GLADIATOR.-One of a pair of armed men forced to fight to death for

the entertainment and gladness of the public of ancient Rome.

GLADDEN.-A happy den.

GLADNESS.-Nessy's happiness. (Nessy = the Lock Ness monster)

GLOVE.-Gaffection.

GLOW.-Shine very dimly because of being too low or near to the ground.

GRACE.-To gracely take part in a race.

GRAVE.-A sserious location in a cemetery where a dead body is buried in

the ground.

GRATEFUL.-Grindful.

GRIEVANCE.- a grief inflicted in advance.

GREEN-PEAS.-A peaceful organization which is cooked and eaten as a vegetable.

H

HABIT.-Ha small piece hor quantity.

HAGGIS.-A witch's stomach stuffed with food.

HAPPINESS.-A state of joy especially felt near the Lock Ness. (hi hi hi)

HARMONIC.-Harmfully harmonious.

HEMINGWHEY.-A writer famous for drinking whey.

HIT-LER, Adolf.-(1889-1945) German Nazi dictator who HIT Europe

during the 2^nd World War.

HITCHCOCK, Alfred.-(1899-1980).A jercky rooster famous for directing

films of suspense.

HOLOCAUST.-Wholesale destruction at a very high cost, i.e. the human

race.

HULLABALOO.-A confusing noisy toilet.

IMMIGRANT.-A sum of money given to foreigners when they come into

a new country.

INFANTILE.-A decorated tile for children.

INFORMANT.-An very clever insect which gives information to the

police, (especially an ant).

INOCULATE.- To inject a vaccine very late.

INSTILL.-(Am.Eng.) To be inside and not to have come out yet.

INTIMATE.-A very private fellow.

IRONY.-The iron contained in lentils, a sarcasm of Mother Nature, who

pretends lentils to be strong (iron) being fragile (plant).

KANT, Immanuel.-”Kant” is not his surname but his alias, which comes

from “can't”, from the usual comment about his difficult theory of

knowledge: “YOU “KAN'T” POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HIM”.

KISSINGER, Henry.-German-born US diplomat. Nicknamed “Kissinger”

because his kiss-strategic missions to the USSR and China

improved US relations with both countries, and he took part

in negotiating US withdrawal from Vietnam, inducing the

troops to kiss the enemy in the a**, in 1973, and in Arab-Israeli

peace negotiation through kiss.

KNIGHT.-A noble horseman who knows everything and goes out at night.

LYRE.-A stringed musical instrument used by the ancient Greeks

especially by the liars.

LEISURE.-To make sure of doing nothing.

LESSON.-(akin to “lessen”) The act of reducing (lessen) the ignorance of

someone.

LIGHT-YEAR.-A weightless year.

LITERATE.-A literate is someone who ate paper waste.

MAGAZINE.-A military warehouse that appear at regular intervals and

contain ammunitions as well as stories, articles and, usually,

advertisements.

MANNER.-More masculine than anybody.

MARCH.-A way of walking which often occurs in the third month of the

year: In March. The month of the year in which most of the

marching parades take place.

MASSACRE.-The liturgy of the Eucharist celebrated in an acre of land.

MAY.-A very probable month.

MAYONNAISE.-(May-on-Naise).-The town of May is located on the

river Naise and is where the famous sauce of its name is

originated.

MISS.-1.-A maiden that has failed to be achieved by marriage. 2.-A wrong

lady.

MOON GLASSES.-A pair of glass lenses used to protect eyesight from the

Moon. (See “sun glasses”)

MEANTIME.-An occasion of behaving meanly or stingily.

MELODIOUS.-Music which everyone hates.

MILESTONE.-A stone a mile long.

MOON GLASSES.- A pair of glass lenses used to protect eyes

from the Moon. (see “sun glasses”)

MORTAR.-Fatar.// Unrelentingry hostire: A mortar enemy.

MUSKETEER.-A soldier armed with a musky-scented gun.

MUSLIM.-(from mu + slim) A goodlooking thin Islamic person.

NAVIGATE.-A gate in the sea.

NECKLACE.-(From “neckless” = without a neck) The loop of the rope

through which the neck of a convict was passed so that he

or she would be hanged and become “neckless”.

NIGHTINGALE.-A strong wind which sounds beautifully and usually

blows at night.

O-BAY (PRONOUNCED LIKE “OBEY”) The noise a tamed

horse makes, when it pays attention.

OFFICE.-The place where clients and customers are sent off with

satisfaction for the service.

OFFSPRING.- Progeny born in spring.

OXFORD.-A city in the middle of which there is a ford with

oxen wading across.

PANT.-(Usually plural) So tight a pair of trousers that you end up panting

when you try to put them on.

PARENTAL.-Parents available for rent.

PEACH.-delive a semon.

PENNSYLVANIA.-A State of the USA where many pencils are

manufactured.(Ant. Pencil-vania)

PERAMBULATE.-To walk slowly so as to be late.

PERVERSE.-Wicked verse.

PETTY.-Unimportant pet. A domestic animal with little importance.

POETASTER.-Half a poet, half a disaster.

POLITIC.-A nervous tic produced by political tensions usually affecting

                Mps and rulers.

POLLUTE.-An old musical instrument like the mandolin or the lute but

                 played by making the air impure.

PROCURE.-To cure men from sex-fever disease by means of women.

PRIESTHOOD.-(colloquial) A mitre.

PRIOR.-A monk who goes before.

PROCURE.-To cure a man from high sex fever through women.

PROMISCUOUS.- Making promises of sexual intercourse to everyone

                          indiscriminately.

PROMOTE.-1) To advance in position or rank from a mote or speck to

                     a larger size.

                     2) To help the growth or development of a mote or

                     speck.

          PROSECUTE.-To put a cute person on trial.

PUBESCENT.-A teenager who goes to pubs and spends cents.

PURITAN.-Pure brown colour, especially that caused by the sun. 

              (pure tan)

QUAIL.-A cowardly bird.

RAPE.-1)The crime of forcing another person to crush grapes until the

juice has been extracted. 2) To violate an anthropoid (an ape).

RATIFY.-To fill with rats.

RAY.-A thin beam of light with a horizontally flat body and two eyes on

          the upper surface, widely expanded fins at each side.

REMAIN.-Twice as main a thing, something two times important, for

which reason it continues to exist after others have gone.

REMEMBER.-Two members in one.

REPAIR.-Twice a pair, i.e., four.

RESPECTFUL.-Full of respect.

RETIRE.-To fatigue someone twice as much.

RETIRED.-Twice as tired.// A person no longer working because of

                 tiredness.

RETREAT.-to treat again.

RIGHT.-The right to write with the right hand.

ROMAN.- A man standing in a row. (row-man)

ROUTINE.- A customary route.

RUMINANT.-A pensive ant. (it is always chewing the cud)

SATIRE.-To tire someone through biting ironies.

SATURATE.-(Such a rate!) Such a rank, such a class.

SAW.-The use of bitter, stinging or rather cutting remarks

through common sayings.

SCAVENGER.-(from EX-CAVENGER): Someone who draws out

                  discarded things. (The opposite of IN-CAVENGER)

SCENT.-An odor which has been sent rather than given off.

SCHOOL.-An institution for the instruction of fish.(Also schoal)

SECRETE.-To produce and release a substance and keep it in a secret

                  place.

SERVILE.-A wicked slave.

SEAL.-The only sea animal on earth which can seal the ocean to prevent it

from leaking out.

SHED.-A hut or store house used for keeping spilt liquid, for instance, a

bloodshed is like a blood bank.

SHORTHANDED.-Having short fingers in one’s hand.

SHRILL.-High-pitchedly ill.

SICKBAY.-A bay into which sick people are thrown away.

SKILL. 1.-Ability to kill.2.-Sput to sdeath.

SLOT.-1.-Sdestiny, sdoom, sfate, sfortune. 2.-sparcel, spart, sportion.

SMILE.-A slong sdistance.

SOW.-To scatter seeds by means of a needdle pulling thread. That is to say,

by pulling a needle through the soil and spreading the seeds with

the “sowing” thread.

SPANIARD.-(formerly spelt “Spanyard”) A typically Spanish yard or

patio.

STEPCHILD.-A child who is just starting to take its first steps.

STEREO-TYPE.-A high-fidelity keyboard.

STUBBORN.-Born as obstinate as a mule. An obstinate by

birth.

STYLE.-An arrangement of steps in a very fashionable way.

SUMMER.-1.-A person or machine that determines a sum of money by

adding. 2.-An accountant who works specially in the warm

season.

SUNGLASSES.-A pair of glass lenses used to protect eyes

from the sun. (see “moon glasses”)

SUPERSEDE.-To replace seed for being big.

SUPERVISOR.-A very big visor.

SURFACE.-To surf with the face.

SURPRISE.- The unexpected rise of the sun.

TABLE.-Able to eat, write, etc., at a table.

TAIL.-1.-A tale written on the reverse side of a coin. 2.-A tale told in the

rear part of a plane.

TANGO.-1.-An attempt to get sun tan. 2.-To sunbathe and go.

TASK.-To ask what to do.

TAXIDERMY.-The art of stuffing and mounting the skins of animals,

usually in a taxi.

TENOR.-(also spelt “tenner”)BrE. A musical voice ten pounds worth.

AmE. A musical voice ten dollars worth.

THREAD.-An indention do hurd, desdroy or punish as in redaliation or

indimidation.

TIRE.-A bothersome wheel.

TRANSPARENT.-A progenitor through which objects can be seen.

VERY.-A svall vulvy and usually edivle vruit as a straw-very.

VILLAGE.-The age at which one is old enough to own and live in a villa.

VIOLATE.-Profane at the last minute.

VISIT.-To stay seated with someone as a guest.

WESTERN.-Stern and severe in a west manner.

WHINE.-Complain in an undignified way to the waiter for having brought

bad wine.

WILL.-bad intention, ill disposition.

WRITE.-A ritual piece of writing.

ZEBRA CROSSING.-A sterile hybrid between a zebra and a pedestrian.

Phrases and idioms

A GRAVEN IMAGE.-An image buried in the ground.

A SIGN OF “THE TIMES”.-A mark found in the “The Times” newspaper.

DRAWING CARD.-A card for drawing on.

ELECTRICALLY GROUNDED.-Punished with an electric discharge.

FAIR GAME.-A game of yellow colour.

LATE BLOOMER.-A person whose prime of life comes very late.

PEACE OF PAPER.-A non-real peace because it is only stated and signed

on paper.

PIECE OF MIND.-A portion of brain in which peace can be felt.

POST-HASTE.-The quickness typical of postmen, that is to say, SLOW.

TRAFFIC JAM.-A kind of jam that is addictive because it contains drug and whose selling is illegal. Thus, there is traffic strawberry jam, traffic peach jam, etc.

Laura Aguirre ©